Living Alive
Truthfully, my diagnosis has given me far more than it will ever take away. I have gone through chemotherapy twice and been below rock bottom, but I fought through it. My experience has gifted me with a new ambition and renewed my outlook on what life is supposed to be, it has molded me into the person I am and shown me a purpose.
When I was in the hospital, I was on the hematology/oncology floor. But you wouldn’t know it.The children there are so incredible; it’s almost incomprehensible.They rode around on tricycles down the hallway, constantly laughing with a relentless energy that only children own. They are so alive- which shocked me. If you have ever been in a hospital for an extended period of time, you know how debilitating it can be.
One particular day, I ventured out of my room with my IV pump in tow. I settled myself in the sunny, window-filled lounge and watched Sponge Bob along with a family eating lunch. There was a little girl running around in a child-sized car, giggling and playing. Then she stopped and stared at me with this curious look on her face. I smiled at her and continued to watch Patrick try to catch a jellyfish.Somehow, I ended up playing this funny sort of peek-a-boo game with the little girl, who I later learned was named Penny. She hid behind my chair, and every time I said “I see you!” she would crack up like it was the most hilarious thing in the whole wide world.She shared her M&M’s, giggled, and smiled every time I spoke. She wasn’t ill, she was happy. She wasn’t sick, she was made of laughter. And her smile made me feel that way, too.
The staff and the children themselves at the hospital have sustained both my body and my spirit. If not for my illness, my eyes never would have been opened to the most anomalous community I have ever encountered. They have given me so much, and that is why I want to spend the rest of my years giving back to them. I fully intend to become a nurse in pediatrics and work in hematology and oncology. I will work in a career that both interests and fascinates me, and hopefully, I will get to share some of the life that has been lavished on me. I will exceed simple existence and live.
